I wrote the other day about my depression and how overwhelming it is, well i had this reading done on Sunday and the lady ( some might not believe in this stuff) said i have a very powerful mind, which means whatever i put my mind to will happen much faster then it does with others. I walked away thinking about this and looking back at all the things that happened in my life , trust me i know my life is not as bad as a lot of people in the world, and i am lucky to be living in a safe country and have a loving mum and other people in my life that love me, however depression does not care who it targets. I mean millionaires are depressed where we look at them and go god what on earth do you have to be depressed about. So i was looking at all the things that have happened to me and looking back all the bad stuff i really did bring to myself, and the reason i attracted those things into my life you may be wondering, is because ” I DONT FEEL WORTHY OF MORE” yep i said it, its my self worth and love for myself. It all stems down from that how i view myself and what i believe i am worthy of. Its scary because how does one change that mindset for themselves, how does one start thinking they are worthy of a great and wonderful life that they want and can achieve. I cant say i know that part of it right now, and i cant say how i will actually find a way to feel worthy enough to have all the things i want. I personally think it will take time and lots and lots of soul searching, and maybe even blogging, which is going to be a lot of real moments in this blog which might be scary but will help me a lot to deal with this horrible depression bug who is stuck on me. So what is my action plan for getting past this bullshit depression thats eating away my time , first accept that i can take control and be able to change it with self love, second understand i am worth love and happiness and that i can give it to myself , third claw my way out one day at a time, finding ways to stop the demons of depression coming in. My to do list for the following week is as follows, lets see how it goes i shall check in once during the week and then end of the week for my progress.
My self care program:
- Start eating my diet plan again ( refresh)
- Curb my emotional eating which is a big thing for me
- Go to bed at a good time of 10pm
- wake up 6.30 am
- Walk dogs weather dependent
- Go to gym between 10-11
- Do study and finish my advanced diploma
- Look for work that is meaningful to me and where i will be happy close to home
- Read positive books and grow and learn
So lets see how i do with this 🙂 i am going to get through this and become stronger and better for it, i shall check in on wednesday to see how this is progressing.
much love and passion to you all
Love Nicole xoxox