World of Depression

I feel like i fell down a dark well, and i am scrambling to try and get back up to find a happier me. I know people keep telling me don’t give you power away, don’t let what a mean spirited boss has done to you affect who you are and what you are feeling. This feeling did not just come up as soon as what happened to me did, it took actually 2 weeks in before this overwhelming feeling of sadness reached into my heart. I  felt like my world had shown a very ugly side to it, my passion for my industry at weighs everything. I live and breath what i do, however within this industry there is such evilness. Women are so horrible to each other and can without thinking bring you down, all because you might not fit into their little click. I am slowly climbing out of it, i am trying to be kind to myself however still striving for something more. I am currently losing weight again because with my last job i swear due to the amount of long hours i put into it i put on weight from lack of eating proper meals, and also this weight is making me feel worse about myself. My goal is small at the moment because i can’t manage to think big , everything i do is a struggle due to the depression. All i want to do is hide in my room curtains closed with ice cream and net flicks, instead i open the curtin and look online for jobs, which is scary in itself, when will i find people with my passion and kindness , a company that not just says the right things but truly lives and breaths it. So here i sit having applied for a job i was interested in hoping i might get an interview, it would work perfectly for my current time i am really leaving my life in the universes hands, if something happens i shall know its because it was not meant to be. Lots and lots of soul searching.

 

 

Love Nikki

 

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